The Dating Game

by The Library of Congress

The Dating Game

Why complements attract

This is a situation most people will be familiar with. Your friend introduces you to their latest flame for the first time, everyone is getting along fine and there is nothing particularly wrong with the way the evening is going. Except, they don’t seem to be terribly suited to each other and you start to suspect that this may be the last you’ll see of this particular date.

A few months later and your prediction didn’t go according to plan. The pair are still going strong and you ponder where such two seemingly different people get their spark from. On the one hand, he’s short, stocky and nice enough, whilst she’s leggy, attractive and the life and soul of the party. So what’s going on there then?

Well, don’t be fooled by the old adage of opposites attracting. The very meaning of the word ‘opposite’ in this context is two people that are altogether different in nature, tendencies and personality. Hardly a recipe for a happy relationship, is it?

The whole ‘opposites attract’ analogy is obviously based on the physics of magnets, with the positive and negative poles attracting each other. But this metaphor doesn’t convert all that well to the world of romance.

No, it’s imperative that ‘opposites’ isn’t confused with ‘complements’, which is a completely different thing altogether.

Playing the dating game

The dating process should, in theory, help people determine the right match for them. Whether they meet through mutual friends, in the pub or via an online dating service, the end outcome is normally the same. They might go out for a couple of drinks, or perhaps see a movie and after a couple of dates it should be fairly obvious whether they are compatible or not.

Of course, compatibility is determined by how well two people complement each other: there must be a certain level of similarity or it simply won’t work. A thriving relationship is built around the coming together of two people and ‘completing’ each other.

And what about the case of the short, stocky and likeable guy, with the leggy, attractive party animal? Well, it’s perhaps easier to spot dissimilarities as it’s more obvious to the casual eye. But only the two people in the middle can really know how well they complement each other.